Mercedes Scheel, M.S., L.M.T.
I work as a professional sex healer/educator in New York City.
I offer a sacred space for people to heal sexual wounds, explore, and discover
new or different aspects of their sexuality and transform destructive sexual patterns
into constructive sexual energies.
 The
concept of healing in this way is rooted in the ancient tradition of sacred prostitutes
that worked in the temples where men would come to regenerate their souls and
rekindle their divine spark of life. This sacred prostitution made no distinction
between sexuality, and spirituality, and it existed for thousands of years in
widespread civilization. In today's society there are few or no places for soul
regeneration. Stress, exhaustion, and competition lead to physical blockages and
can manifest as reduced sex drive, sexual dysfunction, sexual compulsion or sexual
numbness. Often when people experience these symptoms they feel there is something
"wrong" with their sexuality, and consequently feel shame and judgement, which
in turn lead to secrecy and silence.
I work with both men and women, but more men than women have walked
through my door over the years. My clients come for various reasons, be it sexual
compulsions, sexual deprivation, numbness, erectile problems, shame, fantasies,
"abnormal" sexual needs, relationship problems, depression, and more. By the time
they reach me they have often been through an array of therapies, and can feel
defeated and discouraged. On the initial meeting with a client, I am interested
in their sexual history and what brought them to me, as well as, their intention
for this healing process. The form of our work is different if a person wants
to "get rid of" a particular habit or compulsion, versus wanting to come to a
place of acceptance of it. In either case, a transformation needs to take place
as our minds are not designed to throw things out, only to mold differently what
is already there. Even though we can stop sexual activity per se, we cannot stop
being sexual. We are sexual beings, born with a need for intimacy and touch, as
well as, food and sleep. As much as our society encourages us to eat and sleep,
it discourages us from intimacy.
In my work, I introduce the concept of sacred sex, which is, in
essence, a ritual where two or more people have the opportunity to fully be, see,
and be seen as sexual beings. All my sessions are specifically designed according
to the client needs. In the session, the client has an opportunity through mind
body awareness, to experience themselves as erotic beings. Through the field of
energy that exists between the client and I when we engage in a truthful moment
to moment contact, there is an emerging spirituality. This provides the foundation
for a transformation to take place within the client. It is a form of bringing
spirit into matter.
 I
sometimes call myself a Sacred Intimate, and in that lies an invitation to experience
intimacy. This can involve holding a hand or a head while listening to the words
or the silence of my client. Many a client has come to me stating a compulsive
need for a particular type of sex and has subsequently discovered that what they
really needed was to be held. These compulsive and repetitive sexual patterns
often create a very narrow framework for sexuality. Only through accepting these
patterns, while experiencing a different type of erotic stimulation one can discover
that our erotic spectrum is larger than what we thought.
Another limitation to our sexuality is that it tends to be confined
to the genitals. I help my clients discover that every part of their bodies has
erotic potential, a little finger can be equally erotic as genitals. It is the
intention with which I touch and how I invite them to perceive me that creates
an erotic experience. I also invite the awkwardness to be present. We are not
born knowing how to be erotic, have sex or how to please ourselves or others,
and this society offers no mentoring of this craft. I conscientiously and explicitly
provide a safe space in which to explore, be curious, and ask questions. I engage
my clients in an interactive, open discussion concerning their sexuality, thus,
leading to acceptance and integration.
I have had female clients diagnosed with Vaginisimus who have
been unable to have pleasurable intercourse for years, or sometimes never, and,
who have later danced out of my office ready to catch up for lost years. Other
women have felt numb, dry, inorgasmic, or asexual, and through breathwork, movement,
and touch, their sense of a "locked" pelvis has been replaced with a sense of
aliveness, pleasure, and permission. I have had long term clients with Parkinson's
disease whose transformation would manifest in a subsiding of the shaking to an
unnoticeable level in the course of our sessions. Other clients with erectile
complications have discovered how to have a full erotic life, and accept and integrate
the impairment.
 Sacred
sex takes time, trust, vulnerability, awkwardness, communication, and willingness
to go into the unknown. In my own journey, I went through many internal shifts
including turmoil, terror, and joy before I was able to work in this capacity.
I had to descend into the deepest, darkest places of my unconscious to find the
core of my femininity, and a lot of exploration had to take place in order to
find a balance between my feminine and masculine selves.
By giving my clients a space to experience themselves in a different
way, they realize their own potential as sexual beings, and are able to bring
that potential into their lives as a constructive force, with their family, partner
or work. When we reach a place of acceptance and integration of our sexuality
we can enjoy and thrive on it without fear of acting on it inappropriately or
"it" taking hold of us. Thus, we can experience freedom in ourselves.
Through my years of working in this field it has become clear
to me how essential this form of sexual therapy is in today's society. I find
it rewarding as well as challenging to facilitate and witness a client's journey
towards sexual health.
Mercedes invites your questions/comments about this article
and/or her work.
Maxim3x@hotmail.com
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