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appreciation of resistance signals the most important awareness
of sexual healing. All that you've read thus far, and exercises
in my "Graceful Guidelines to Sexual Healing" article will
bring up resistance in the body. Notice the felt sense of
this resistance in your body. Make room for it. It has personal
and cultural reasons for being. Just because it was placed
there doesn't mean you have to live with it for the rest of
your life.
Awareness of resistance is good: you want to bring your resistance
up out of your unconscious, where it has ominous rule, and expose it for resolution.
By connecting with your resistance, you have the opportunity to discern and untangle
the diverse feelings and incidents that have formed themselves into a wall of
shame. Whenever shame or energy blockage surfaces in a budding or long term intimate
relationship, the struggle to share it is part of the process of healthy development.
It is the joining of less developed and more mature aspects of self together in
a sensitive, growing relationship. In this process, there is great value in the
shame. Shame flirts with us. It lures us while at the same time it tries to hide.
As suggested by the author Max Scheler, in his book, Shame and Pride, "It is from
in and under the shame that our shimmering magic emerges."
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